i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
