Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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