how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
