the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize