i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
did you just send me my own nude
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
