am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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