I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize