well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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