Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Dear god my vagina.
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