Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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