It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
