my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
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Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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