singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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