oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
