But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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