Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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