at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
