my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Terrible idea I love it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
