if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
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