New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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