Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
