wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
