We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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