There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
