I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
