GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
