dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
