I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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