i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Less talking, more tequila
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Boobs are out for the taking
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
