I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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