He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
