you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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