school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
