I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing