If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
