Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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