well I can't set my house on fire every night
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
