His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you had me at cake vodka
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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