Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
