omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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