the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
