Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
