I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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