guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I woke up under a house in Key West
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