i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
