I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
