Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
