Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize