My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
