listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
