No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
