We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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