It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
