I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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