is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
