We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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