I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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