I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
