good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
