my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
