my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
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