She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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