chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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