Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
