Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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