And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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