that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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