my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
