your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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