dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize