Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
