Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
