Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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